Our Concern For Our Family

II Samuel 14.1
So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was concerned about Absalom.

2 Samuel 13:37-39 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

David's family had been ripped apart by sin. These things were actually what God said would happen as a result of him having Uriah killed. Still hard to imagine how David sunk to such a low level to do that. It shows us what sin can do. It shows that even someone who walked close to the LORD, who was a man after God's own heart, could fall into deep sin. It is a warning to us to us not to elevate Christian leaders. If it happened to David it can happen to anyone. A common thread of all those who fell in the past 25 years was this, "I never thought this thing could happen to me."

Sin destroys what is good, innocent and pure. It can destroy relationships, a whole family and leave its mark on generations not even born.

A while after his sin with Bathsheba and his ensuring Uriah would be killed in battle, his son Amnon had committed a similar sin and because of this Absolam, his favorite son, killed Amnon. Absolam fled and David longed for Absoalm, he was deeply concerned about him.

Absolam was exiled from the family. He was an outcast because of sin. He left because he had his brother Amnon murdered. He had his brother Amnon murdered because Amnon had raped his sister, Tamar. The sins that David committed with Bathsheba and Uriah are now coming into his own family, to his children.

The king was strongly attached to Absalom; and having now got over his sorrow for the violent death of Amnon, he was desirous of again enjoying the company and fellowship of his favorite son, who had now been gone three long years. But the dread of public opinion and knowing it would be against the law made him hesitate about recalling or pardoning his guilty son; and Joab, whose discerning mind perceived this struggle between parental affection and royal duty decided to act. His intentions were right, his concern for the King, his friend, was right and yet his methods were less than pure and in the end bringing Absolam back was a huge mistake. No one is above the law.

I think this is one of the reasons God has Paul write to Timothy about praying for those in authority over us.
1 Timothy 2:1-2 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
Leaders, both civic and spiritual have an extra load because of their children. It is not easy being a son or daughter of a pastor or a president. There are many many blessings but there are also burdens. Pray for the families of leaders. Pray for the protection of their children and wisdom for the parents. Pray the children's hearts would remain tender. Pray they would do what is right.

One of the reasons God recorded this to show David's love for his son Absolam, even though he had murdered his half brother. However Absolam had had his half brother murdered and just as David had to suffer the consequences of having Uriah killed so Absolam would have to as well. When rulers on earth fail to maintain order heaven steps in.

1. Nothing Can Bring More Joy Or More Pain To a Family Than Family.

Psalm 133.1 Behold how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. That goodness is beyond words at times. That pleasantness cannot be describe fully. Ray and Pastor Dennis and Gideon. In God' family/in our families
III John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Proverbs is full of observations of pain and joy over children.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon:A wise son brings joy to his father,but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
Proverbs 23:24-25 The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!
Proverbs 15:20 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.
Proverbs 17:25 A foolish son brings grief to his fatherand bitterness to the mother who bore him.
We have all witnessed the goodness coming to parents who have obedient and loving sons and the deep pain which comes to parents with foolish sons.

How much joy comes to a heart of a parent or uncle or aunt or grandparent over a child who does what is right! If they succeed there is great joy. Being at my niece, Marlee's, High School graduation was so gratifying and such a blessing. On that perfect summer like evening this past June in Exeter, New Hampshire I watched a young lady whom I knew and loved since she was born complete her primary schooling. It was grand. I am so glad I could be there. I carry the thank you note she sent me.

Aunt and uncles, grandparents have often been part of the prayerband that goes after the wayward child. Some of you are part of such bands. Don't stop praying! Don't give up, even when the person goes further down the path of destruction. They are only a step away from turning around.

The pain of seeing a child go the wrong way is indescribable. It is heart breaking. It takes life out of the parent. I have been with parents when their children have let them down and broken their hearts. Listening to the pain of parents of a prodigal is heartbreaking.

Thank God He still answers prayer! There are prodigals who come back to the Father's House still today. We pray for that!

2. Nothing is More Painful to a Parent Than To Watch Hatred Between Their Children.

David saw this. God told him it would be so.
2 Samuel 12:10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.
This sends chills up and down my spine. Yet this was to be. Bathsheba in David's home as one of his wives was all because David had Uriah killed.

David had to live with it.
Pity the poor souls who are right now. It is gut wrenching and heart breaking!

We can pray. God can change hearts!
We have hope. We have the ministry of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

He can restore.
He can bring healing.
There are some consequences of sin we cannot cast off.


3. Our Children Are Always Our Children.

My daughter a few years ago, "Dad, I just realized that I will be a parent for the rest of my life!"
Some time later: Is the young man Absalom safe?" It has been said that he showed here more of the father than of the king—more of affection than of wisdom; and that is, doubtless, a correct criticism upon King David's deep fondness of his son.

The anxieties of parents are very great, and some young people do not sufficiently reflect upon them, or they would be more grateful, and would not so often increase them by their thoughtless conduct. I am persuaded that there are many sons and daughters who would not willingly cost their parents sorrow, who, nevertheless, do flood their lives with great grief.

As long as children are under your roof there is a certain peace. When they move out and are on their own, anxiety can increase. They have formed their own attachments, and have begin life entirely on their own account. Even if they are in the same town, we are concerned for their welfare; but if they are in another land, we are still more anxious.
Questions like David's flood the minds of parents:
Are they safe?
Are they following Christ?
Whose company are they keeping?

4. Our Times Are In God's Hands
David was about to experience a horrible rebellion from his own flesh and blood. He was about to lose another son in it.

Let's also take warning to stay away from sin. It has deadly consequences. Let's pass that warning of sins consequences to the younger generation. I believe many have failed to do just that. It needs to be done.

We may feel helpless but let's not forget about the power of prayer!

Jesus Himself knew what family problems were when He was here on earth. Born under the suspicion of illegitimacy (Remember the people of Nazareth, save Joseph, did not buy Mary's explanation of her pregnancy and he did only after a dream from the LORD), not believed by His own brothers until after His Resurrection, He spoke of division in families due to allegiance to Him.


Lift up all parents and adults you know with children in their lives.
Lift up the children. They often suffer the most when sin breaks out in a home.
Lift your own soul to the LORD.

Our hope is in the LORD,
He will bring us through,
When we are at wit's end
He knows just what to do

His mercies are great
His faithfulness endures
He heals our souls from sin
In Him are all the cures.

Rescue the perishing,
Care for the dying,
Jesus is merciful,
Jesus will save!